Valentine's Day parties

Fun games ideas for couples and parties.

Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity for you and your partner to innocently enjoy yourselves while stepping out of line a little bit. True, sexy games, especially with other like-minded party revelers—no matter what the justification—can result in strained relationships, or worse.

However, these games can be fun, stimulating and provide variety while bringing friends closer together. Again, all participants must know exactly what will be expected and have no reservations. Everybody must join in or nobody should participate.

A shrinking violet that changes their mind can’t stay and watch and if they leave they may start rumors that depict the festivities to be more debauched than they actually were. After all, they took the high road and chose not to participate. No, every invitee must to rock-ribbed solid on their intentions and follow through.

The Valentine’s Day games shown here are not lewd and do not involve sexual activity unless they are adapted with minimum effort by the participants.


Play Twister in the normal fashion. The only difference is that men wear only tightie-whities and women wear only panties (or thongs) and bras. It will be necessary to have enough twister supplies to accommodate the number of guests present so everyone can play concurrently. Be advised, this game goes south quickly as physical contact is initiated, lines of sight become up front and personal and natural physical reactions rear their head.

You’re a lifesaver

Cut matchsticks into one inch long pieces. Arrange the revelers in a circle sitting close to each other. Give everyone a one inch section of matchstick to grip in their teeth with most of it sticking straight out. Place a Valentine’s Day lifesaver candy on the matchstick held by the first person in line.

The objective is for the first person to turn to the player next to them and for both players to attempt to transfer the lifesaver from the first stick to the second. Without a doubt there is a great deal of lip-to-lip contact as this game is played. In fact, some of the participants are inclined to take the contact to absurd but pleasurable lengths.

Treasure Hunt

This game can be played by partners or by groups of partners. The amount of clothing is optional. The first participant lies flat on their back or stomach and places candy hearts on strategic locations on their body. The second participant is brought into the room wearing a blindfold with their hands loosely bound behind their backs and led to the side of their partner. Their job is to take their time and explore as much of their partners body with their lips to find as many candy hearts as possible in a three minute timeframe.

The imagination takes flight at the different permutations these games inspire.

Enjoy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine's Day vow

I'll remember next year.

The year 2012 has been somewhat calamitous regarding the results of my performance on celebrating romantic holidays. I forgot our wedding anniversary in January—and still at this moment cannot remember the date—and then got hammered for not being prepared to celebrate Valentine’s Day, which came on the heels of our wedding anniversary. I guess things came to a head was when I was scheduled out of town on my wife’s birthday, which occurred at the end of February, immediately following Valentine’s Day. It’s simply too much to process so early in a new year. Somehow, even though I’m hoping I can redeem myself by big doings on Sweetish Day, it’ll be too little too late.I’m going to do better in 2013! I’m going to start with Valentine’s Day. I reviewed the mistakes I’ve made in the past and vow to never go there again!

In 2013, I am going to:

  • Write my wife a short but heartfelt love letter in longhand, explaining why I love her and the years we have spent together and how I look forward to our future.
  • Never again join the other losers frantically shopping what’s left of the large, red candy boxes at the drugstore. I’m going to buy my wife a Valentine present this year, put it away and be prepared to give it to her next year. I don’t know what it will be as yet, but it’ll impress her more than a box of candy.
  • Plan out the evening, if not the entire day. I’m going to take a personal day at work and spend it with my wife. If reservations are called for at a restaurant or hotel, I’ll make them well in advance. The day will flow seamlessly from one activity to the other.
  • Dress and act appropriately and treat the celebration as a meaningful event. As a celebration of our love, it doesn’t get more meaningful than that.

Yes, I’m going to do all of these things—if I can only remember to remember to do them!





Valentine's night fantasy

A sweet treat

Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to go way over the top and express your love and affection for your mate. On Valentine’s night you can live your fantasies without fear of laughter or rejection, and at the same time exercise your creative spirit with a tasty treat, with you as the main course. Sure, you will exchange a meaningful gift with your loved one and enjoy a nice dinner. And, of course, your partner will be expecting a night of romance after you get home.

This is where you blow his or her mind. Set the stage as usual with tastefully arranged candles casting a soft glow in the bedroom. Ensure that the background music is set at just the right volume and sprinkle rose petals across the bed sheets. Arrange yourself seductively on the bed and call your lover into the bedroom.

OK, this is where things take a radical departure.

Prior to Valentine’s Day, you do the following:

  1. Make a pair of candy panties by looping a string around your waist and cutting it to fit.
  2. Punch holes in small sugar coated jellied candy with a toothpick and thread them onto the string and tie it off. Leave the waist string loose enough so that you can slip into it.
  3. Hold the waist string in place—you may need the help of a friend for this step— and loop several strings, threaded with a variety of candy, enough to barely cover your privates, from the front of the waist string between your legs and over your butt back up to the back of the waist string where you tie it off.
  4. Next, make a simple belt of strings threaded with candy to drape across your breasts.

We’re now back to Valentine’s night in the bedroom and your lover opens the door and sees you waiting on the bed dressed in sugar candy.

Well, you take it from here!

Valentine's Day Date

Recharge Your Romance

Both spouses are generally employed trying to make ends meet. Even when one spouse works in the house it can be just as difficult as working at a job, especially when children are involved. Many times both spouses find it difficult to relate to each other’s situation and communication between them can become strained.

It’s necessary to reconnect from time to time and remind each other why you’re together in the first place. You can do this by going out on a date with each other, free of worry about the kids and the job, just like you used to before starting a household.

This is generally not something you can simply do without giving it a great deal of thought. The idea is arrange the job and household so they are secure and you don’t need to worry about them.

Valentine’s Day is on February 14th every year. You know its coming and that gives you and your mate the opportunity to plan in advance for it.


Valentine’s Day generally falls on a weekday or when the next day is a workday. The working spouse must arrange well in advance to go to work later or take off the day after the Valentine’s Day date. Worrying about the job can ruin the date.


The stay-at-home spouse has to get the house in order before they can feel “free” while on the date. Before the Valentine’s Day date:

  1. Pay all bills that are due and even bills coming due later, if possible. Bills are one of the primary causes of nagging worry.
  2. Reserve a child-sitter if the kid is young and reserve a chaperone or house-sitter if the kids are older—no matter how old they are—you don’t want to wonder or worry about what’s happening at home while attaining that “free” feeling. A trusted relative is the best choice for either of these situations.
  3. Leave an emergency contact number, such as a cell phone, so you can be contacted if necessary. Otherwise, you’ll be wondering all night if you should call home and check up.
  4. Make reservations well in advance for restaurants, hotels and other activities. Spontaneity is romantic unless you spend the precious time on date night looking for a place to eat or stay. Besides you may be able to save money on either one.
  5. Both spouses should arrange for a trip to the barbershop or hairdresser as well as plan to dress up in their best clothes. This is a special occasion and must be treated as such.

Any holiday works well and simply planning a date at anytime is worthwhile.

But, you have to admit that Valentine’s Day is special for lovers and sets the mood for a recharging of your relationship.

Words to Learn From

Expensive Valentine's Day Lesson

I remember Valentine’s Day from elementary school—over 60 years ago in 1950—when all the kids would make paper valentines in class at school and we would take them home to our mothers. Strangely enough, I don’t remember much at all about the intervening years between then and many years later when I was married. My love life was either pretty poor or I wasn’t much of a romantic—I guess both are pretty much the same—but I am certain that not as much commercial attention was directed to Valentine’s Day then, as it is now.

I met my future wife in the early 70’s and was married a short while later. By then the commercial engine was revving up and Valentine’s Day was rapidly becoming the nation’s biggest spending holiday behind Christmas. I may not have been cognizant of Valentine’s Day early in life, but as a newlywed, it had my full attention now.

Of course, our first Valentine’s Day together came shortly after my wife and I were married. We were still in that magical glow of the promise and excitement of our future together—and actually still are—so I went all out and bought, actually charged on a credit card, an expensive tennis bracelet that was very popular at the time.

My wife and I were both employed and she picked me up downtown, every day immediately after she got off work. I immediately took her to a steak house and we went all out ordering everything we wanted. I charged the bill on my credit card.

Immediately after leaving the restaurant and driving home, I presented her with the tennis bracelet which, of course, she loved.

I was surprised when she had a gift for me. I tore open the wrapping and was pleasantly surprised to find a stainless steel Mini-14 carbine—after all, we live in Texas—and I too, of course, loved it. She charged it on a credit card.

The point of this story is that the first real Valentine’s Day that I really experienced put me and my wife in serious debt which actually required several years to pay off—interest rates at that time ran over 20 to 25 per cent.

At least we learned, and future Valentine’s Days were more about the celebration than the presents. We cooked at home instead of charging a meal at a restaurant; gave each other a nice card and small gift and then entertained each other after that.

These are words to learn from, for young lovers everywhere.

Made With Love

Gift of Love

Years ago—when I was single and sharing an apartment with a friend I had known for years—I was subjected to a firsthand lesson in how to go the extra mile. My friend was what you would call the “common man”, not really sophisticated or up on the social niceties. But, as I was soon to learn, he knew how to treat the woman he loved. Remember, we were barely out of our teens, and generally acted like it. We had our own apartment and lived pretty much the way we wanted.

I wasn’t even aware that Valentine’s Day was right around the corner that year because at the time I wasn’t really seeing anyone. However, one afternoon when I came home from work, I was immediately taken with a delicious aroma that permeated the apartment. This was shocking because the kitchen hadn’t been used since we moved in other than to store our favorite beverages in the refrigerator.

I Immediately investigated and found my friend—exasperated and frustrated—in the kitchen looking a large pan full of chocolate goo. The fantastic aroma was even more intense in the kitchen but I had no idea what was in the pan.

As it turned out, instead of doing the typical last minute, run to the drugstore thing, he was making homemade fudge to give to his girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. He certainly wasn’t doing it to save money since the ingredients he had already bought obviously cost more than what the packaged candy would have cost.

This was his first attempt and the fudge simply wouldn’t set solid, but remained a gooey mess. Undeterred, he called home, spoke to his mother for advice and made another batch. This one not only smelled delicious, it also looked delicious. The next step he took was to cut it into squares, pack it carefully in a fancy box and slip a Valentine card under the ribbon.

The fact that he had the idea and motivation to make the candy especially for her bowled his girlfriend over and made him a hero.

I still think about this experience years later. In fact, it has become a tradition in our house for me to make my wife a present for Valentine’s Day. Sometimes I have to work hard to come up with the right idea, and sometimes it may turn out to be rather lame, but she always loves it.

Throw a Valentine's Day Dinner Party

Valentine's Day with Friends

You can throw a Valentine’s Day party for close friends and ride the day out in comfort and pleasure instead of fighting restaurant or movie crowds all evening. A Valentine’s Day party may not be an intimate or loving way to celebrate with your loved one if you are in the throes of young love, but it’s great if you are a bit further along in your relationship. 

Here are some suggestions for a successful evening:

  1. Develop a guest list that you and your partner agree on. Keep the guest list to no more than four couples. This is a manageable and affordable number. Think ahead and invite couples who are not prone to arguing or indulging in drama of any kind.
  2. Send invitations out three weeks in advance. This allows plenty of time for people to make plans to attend. It also catches them before they begin the frustrating task of trying to figure out something to do on their own for Valentine’s Day and to begin making reservations of one type or another. They’ll love you for that.
  3. Plan for a dinner party. Trust me on this; you can have a delicious dinner catered in at a reasonable price. Just suck it up and do it. Preparing a dinner is the most time consuming, frustrating and mind-wearying exercise there is and can make a dinner party totally not worth it. Also, catering relieves you of worrying about whether the guests will enjoy dinner. If they like it, they will feel flattered that you thought enough of them to have it catered. If the food isn’t great, it gives you a wonderful opportunity to blame it on the caterer.
  4. Plan to serve wine and designer beers. You can have hard liquor available but also stock plenty of mixers along with it. Guests who drink too much may become argumentative or weepy on Valentine’s Day. You don’t want either. Of course, have coffee, tea and soft drinks prominently available.
  5. Set the mood in the dining and living rooms. Low lights, candles placed about and soft music playing all evening.
  6. Play the latest love-sick Valentine’s Day DVD release and laugh or cry at it as the mood strikes you.

Spending Valentine’s Day in the company of friends in a quiet, intimate environment is enjoyable. However, for a variety of reasons it’s probably best not to exchange gifts in front of the group. Keep this as a private ritual.

Happy Anti-Valentine's Day Party

Singles Unite Against Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is peachy-keen for those who are:
  1. Deeply in the throes of early or young love
  2. Trying to salvage some vestige of being in the throes of early or young love
  3. Making a run at getting in someone’s pants

Otherwise, February 14th is the perfect opportunity for everyone else to celebrate the fact that they do not belong in any of the above categories.

Of course, this celebration does not follow in the footsteps of a traditional Valentine’s Day party. In fact, this celebration is the antithesis of a traditional affair.

Someone has to step forward, raise their voice and bring together the desperate souls who are not forced by convention and multimedia advertising to:

  1. Spend lots of money on cheap, mass produced trinkets
  2. Stand in line for hours for the privilege of eating a chain restaurant meal
  3. Make a last minute gasping attempt at the drugstore to get the last $1.99 box of gooey chocolates

You can be the person about whom everyone rallies, you can be the lightening rod for a new beginning; just follow these tips:


  1. Clearly state this is an anti-Valentine’s Day party, guests should come prepared to revel in their freedom
  2. Make it clear on the invitation that this is not a pity party
  3. “Singles only” are welcome
  4. Wear anti-Valentine colors (black, ash-gray, etc.)
  5. No love may blossom as a result of attending this party


  1. Just to make certain that all guests are in the right mood, hand out an extra large T-shirt with a black heart that is torn in pieces and the caption “Ain’t love great” on the front. These are actually quite inexpensive and get the party off on the right note


  1. Make black hearts from construction paper and jaggedly tear them in half diagonally
  2. Place pictures of lovey-dovey famous couples such as J-low and her current love-interest (too hard to keep with to remember) and provide darts to throw at it
  3. Draw pictures of a gravesite with the grave stone engraved; Cupid


  1. Anti-Valentine’s Day music abounds, visit your local “tunes” store and you’ll find all you need at inexpensive prices

Food and Drink

  1. Serve a devils-food cake in the shape of a heart. Cut the cake in half diagonally and leave a large butcher knife plunged into it
  2. Everyone brings their own bottle and you provide plenty of water, sodas, mixers, tea and coffee

Happy anti-Valentine’s Day!

Valentine's Day Movies

Sweet without making you sick.

On Valentine’s Day, I can’t help but get a little lovey dovey, and I want a movie that follows suit. That said, I don’t want some sappy love story where the girl eats boxes of chocolates until she gets a boyfriend or a girl who quits her job—where she is a bitch, natch—when she finally settles down. I want something where the girl holds the reigns, at least some of the time. Here are some of my favorite romantic movies that won’t make you puke or raise your feminist hackles (too much):

Notting Hill (1999). I re-watched Notting Hill last night, and was pleasantly surprised at how Julia Roberts’ character, Anna Scott, called all the shots in courting bumbling Brit, Will Thacker (Hugh Grant). While it’s a little hard to swallow the poor, famous movie star angle the movie spins at every turn, Grant and Roberts definitely have chemistry and London plays a delightful supporting character. I was also impressed by Will’s group of friends, who were actually used to enhance the plot, not only to encourage Will to go-get-her.

Saving Face (2004). This movie pairs two Chinese-Americans, one a doctor and the other a dancer. A Chinese mother’s dream to be sure. Except for the fact that both partners are women. Poignancy, with some hilarious missteps, ensues with doctor Wilhemina tries to keep her girlfriend Vivian a secret from her mother. Wil’s mother, Hwei-lang Gao (Joan Chen) has her own struggles as an unwed, older mother pregnant with a new baby.

Wall-E (2008). I cried alone while watching Wall-E on an international flight, so that says a lot about the emotional relevancy of a twitching piece of metal. Wall-E is adorable, as is his love for the object of his affection, EVE (Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator). You’ll never doubt a robot’s ability to love after watching this movie—are you ready for the responsibility of getting your laptop a valentine?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). One of my favorite movies of all time, Eternal Sunshine escaped the typical romantic comedy clichés in a huge way. Featuring Jim Carrey as Joel Barish and Kate Winslet as Clementine Kruczynski, the movie follows the couple as they try to erase each other and cling to each in an innovative psychological erasure process. You’ll never cherish your memories—even the bad ones—more.

What are your favorite romantic movies that don’t make you cringe?

Valentine's Day Sensual Massage

Treat Your Boyfriend

One of the nicest gifts you can give your boyfriend is a full-body massage. It is intimate, enjoyable and expresses your love. Depending on what stage of the romance you and he have arrived at determines whether or not the sensual massage will result in a “happy ending.”

If not, it is essential to tell him in advance that you are not yet ready but that this is another step along the way to get you to that point.

A memorable sensual massage requires a great deal of planning and preparation on your part.   


  1. Start research several weeks in advance. Go online or to the library and research sensual massages. You will quickly find every type of massage for every stage of a relation from friendship to ardent lover. You need to choose the type that most accommodates your situation.
  2. Purchase products that you may need such as oils, candles or other paraphernalia that may be needed. By starting the research early, you have time to find what you need.

Prepare your home or apartment:

  1. Determine a location. Your place is best because it gives you time and means to prepare the massage area.
  2. Make absolutely certain that roommates, friends and any others who may drop by or call know that your place is off limits for the night. Post a small sign on the door that notifies anyone who may knock at the door that you do not want to be disturbed. Turn off telephones.
  3. Make arrangements for someone else to take care of all pets for the night.
  4. Clean your home thoroughly. Remove all clutter and wash all bedding. If you have a pet—deodorize the place with a neutral scent—you may be so used to the smell of pets that you don’t notice it, but he will.
  5. Arrange for soft, restful music on a continuous loop. Do not play popular music that is loud or disruptive to the romantic mood you want to create. Borrow a CD player if necessary.
  6. Generally, the floor is the best place to conduct a sensual massage. Borrow or buy a soft comfortable rug that he can lay on while you massage.

Make the Date

  1. Contact you boyfriend at least one week previous to Valentine’s Day and make the date. This may seem silly since he should be planning to see you, but he may be making some plans or reservations for the two of you that don’t mesh with your plans.


  1. Dress seductively but comfortably so that you can move around without your clothing binding you during the massage. The better solution is to wear your best clothing and then remove it before the massage. You can remain somewhat dressed in red lace underwear.
  2. Have wine and chocolates available which are sexually stimulating foods. Do not plan on a meal before the massage. It is not comfortable to receive a massage on a full stomach.