Happy Anti-Valentine's Day Party

Happy Anti-Valentine's Day Party

Singles Unite Against Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is peachy-keen for those who are:
  1. Deeply in the throes of early or young love
  2. Trying to salvage some vestige of being in the throes of early or young love
  3. Making a run at getting in someone’s pants

Otherwise, February 14th is the perfect opportunity for everyone else to celebrate the fact that they do not belong in any of the above categories.

Of course, this celebration does not follow in the footsteps of a traditional Valentine’s Day party. In fact, this celebration is the antithesis of a traditional affair.

Someone has to step forward, raise their voice and bring together the desperate souls who are not forced by convention and multimedia advertising to:

  1. Spend lots of money on cheap, mass produced trinkets
  2. Stand in line for hours for the privilege of eating a chain restaurant meal
  3. Make a last minute gasping attempt at the drugstore to get the last $1.99 box of gooey chocolates

You can be the person about whom everyone rallies, you can be the lightening rod for a new beginning; just follow these tips:

Invitations

  1. Clearly state this is an anti-Valentine’s Day party, guests should come prepared to revel in their freedom
  2. Make it clear on the invitation that this is not a pity party
  3. “Singles only” are welcome
  4. Wear anti-Valentine colors (black, ash-gray, etc.)
  5. No love may blossom as a result of attending this party

Costume

  1. Just to make certain that all guests are in the right mood, hand out an extra large T-shirt with a black heart that is torn in pieces and the caption “Ain’t love great” on the front. These are actually quite inexpensive and get the party off on the right note

Decorations

  1. Make black hearts from construction paper and jaggedly tear them in half diagonally
  2. Place pictures of lovey-dovey famous couples such as J-low and her current love-interest (too hard to keep with to remember) and provide darts to throw at it
  3. Draw pictures of a gravesite with the grave stone engraved; Cupid

Music

  1. Anti-Valentine’s Day music abounds, visit your local “tunes” store and you’ll find all you need at inexpensive prices

Food and Drink

  1. Serve a devils-food cake in the shape of a heart. Cut the cake in half diagonally and leave a large butcher knife plunged into it
  2. Everyone brings their own bottle and you provide plenty of water, sodas, mixers, tea and coffee

Happy anti-Valentine’s Day!